Reflecting on my 3rd Trimester in Quarantine

It’s a time that I envisioned being surrounded by close friends and family. The weather is getting nicer, I was planning my baby shower for the beginning of May, and overall we were excited to invite our friends and family over to come see our farm! At 31 weeks into my pregnancy and quarantined at home, I’ve had some time to reflect and all I can think of is wow - since moving back from Thailand last September, our lives have been a total whirlwind.

Getting a New Job and Moving from Boston to New Jersey

John and I both went to Boston for school but aren’t originally from the Boston area. I moved around a lot when I was young so I don’t really feel like I have a place where I’m from. John was born and raised in New Jersey and his whole family is based here. After 10 years in the Boston area, we both felt like it was time for a change. Living abroad for 2 years helped us affirm those feelings. John had been passively talking about moving back to New Jersey one day and I really enjoyed every time we went down to visit friends and family. While we were in Thailand, we mutually decided that moving from Boston to New Jersey would be the best next move in our journey together!

Things started to fall into place while we were in Thailand. I got a call from a former colleague who was looking to expand her team. It felt like it was meant to be: the role would be based in the New York City/Philadelphia area. I started working for Wolters Kluwer Health last July while we were still in Thailand as an Associate Director of Social Media and Content Marketing. I started working for them in July while I was still abroad and upon moving back from Thailand in September, we needed to scramble to find a house so I could start working in the office.

Here are some photos I took on my first day going into the Philadelphia office!

House Hunting in New Jersey While Simultaneously Selling Our House In Boston

Once we moved back from Thailand we moved in with John’s parents. Luckily, they had an RV that they let us crash in which to this day we are so thankful for! It gave me the ability to commute for work and for us to house hunt. It was a tight squeeze — 2 humans and 4 dogs — but we made it work!

We saw a lot of houses. We were looking for an older house with charm (no new construction) and a property with land and barns. We also knew that we didn’t want a project as we lived in a construction zone for years renovating the house in Boston. We didn’t mind cosmetic updates, but we didn’t want to do anything major like a kitchen renovation or knocking down walls. Our max budget was $500k but of course, we preferred to keep it lower than that.  

House hunting was both fun and exhausting. Some houses we saw had that old world charm and big fantastic barns but were a total gut job. Some houses we saw were move-in-ready but lacked personality. Some had too much personality -- cue a house we saw with a zebra print staircase. Here are some fun photos of houses that we saw that we didn’t go for.

We found the house we eventually bought on Zillow as a “For Sale by Owner”. The house looked perfect from the pictures: an 1890s home that has been loved and well-maintained, lots of natural light, 6 acres of land, and big beautiful barns.  When John tried to contact the owner through Zillow, the number didn’t work. We ended up going full investigation mode and finding the owners construction company and calling his secretary and leaving a message for him with her. He called us back and we were able to go see the house. Walking into the house for the first time, I felt a feeling that I hadn’t felt with any other house - it was love at first sight! It was a beautiful end of summer afternoon and the sunlight lit up the whole house. I instantly felt happy. Parts of the house needed updating, and no one had been living there so there was an abundance of cobwebs. It’s not the biggest house, it’s not the newest, but I am so in love with it and months later still wake up happy everyday. Isn’t that all you could ever ask for?

Here are some of the pictures I took on the day we first saw our house!

We went through all the inspections and the negotiations and the owner accepted our offer of $480k (it was originally listed at $499k). 

Our process was a little confusing because we still needed to sell our house in Boston. While we were in Thailand, we had a fantastic renter that kept our house well maintained and tidy. We listed the house and it sold in less than 24 hours. Most of our stuff was already packed up and in the attic from before we moved to Thailand, which made the process of moving much easier. We hired movers, drove up to Boston, packed up the remainder of our stuff and moved everything out in 1 weekend. It was exhausting, and I remember pulling up to the driveway of our new house on a freezing night in December and thinking, “I can’t believe we just did all of that.” 

Looking back at all that, it still feels like a dream. As crazy as our life was having just gotten back from living abroad, everything fell into place and happened as it should. I’m so thankful that we had the support of John’s family during that time, it would have been impossible to do it all without a place to crash for those few months! And then, while all of that was happening, we found out I was pregnant. Read more about how I found out I was pregnant here.

My 3rd Trimester during the COVID-19 Pandemic and Quarantine

Truthfully, my life and routine hasn’t changed all that much. I’ve become a bit of a homebody since moving home from Thailand. I’ve been a homebody with reason: I’m pregnant and we just moved into our new house in December so with the free time I do have, I’m trying to make it our home. I still have so much to do in terms of decorating and we have a lot of furniture from our old house that doesn’t match.

Doctor’s visits during the pandemic have been all sorts of surreal. What used to be happy little offices with other pregnant mamas have turned into very empty, apocalyptic feeling places. The practice I go to has been taking great measures to scheduling patients so that they don’t wait in the waiting rooms together and once you’re in the exam room, you only leave when there is no one else in the hallway. Everyone is in gloves, masks, and eye-wear. It makes you feel safe and uneasy all at the same time.

It’s shocking that despite my history with anxiety and panic attacks, I’m feeling pretty calm about everything. I’m not sure if it’s because our time living abroad in Thailand was so chaotic and I was in so many near-death experiences that I’ve become numb. For example, on our honeymoon, we had to get rescued by the Icelandic coastguard while camping. I got bit by a monkey in Thailand and needed immunoglobulin and rabies shots. We took road trips on our motorcycle through less-than-safe roads in Thailand and Nepal. A neighbor threatened to kill me at our condo building in Bangkok. After all of that crazy, it’s hard to feel anxious when I’m sitting in my little farmhouse in the country, looking out and seeing my dogs happily playing in the yard and my cow calmly grazing in the pastures. I’m in love with the life John and I have created in the last few months, and when I start to feel at all claustrophobic, it’s simple for me to feel grounded again by taking a walk through our property. I feel privileged, and a little guilty, even though we’ve worked hard for this life.

I haven’t left my house in a month and had to cancel our baby shower, but I’m fine. I have my days where I feel bummed out, and it’s usually because I miss my family, or I miss my in-laws, or I feel sad about not getting together with our friends. I’m sad that we had to cancel our baby shower because I was planning on a cute, farm themed shower on our property. It would have been a chance for our friends and family to get together, catch-up, and see our new house — so kind of like a house-warming and baby shower garden party all-in-one. Although I’m bummed about having to cancel it, I know it’s nothing compared to people who have to post-pone their weddings. We had friends that were getting married in late May that had to reschedule their wedding, and I know how heartbreaking that must be. On the plus side, I feel thankful for the ability to easily video chat my friends and family that are far away. The other morning, I did a group video chat with 5 of our friends in Bangkok and that made me feel all the warm and fuzzies!

The thing that’s made my life a bit more complicated during the 3rd trimester is that I’ve been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Diabetes runs in my mom’s side of the family, and while it is genetic, I was shocked to learn that I have it. I felt like it was my fault at first. Have I been eating too much sugar? I’ve been gaining weight at a healthy weight, so what’s wrong with me? My doctor ensured me that it was nothing I did, it’s just how my placenta handles sugar. It’s been frustrating to have to check my blood sugar 4 times a day and on Monday, I have to go to the doctor for them to show me how to give myself insulin. I asked if I could balance it with diet and exercise and my doctor said my blood sugar levels were dangerous and unfortunately it’s not safe for me or the baby. So while I really don’t want to have to give myself a shot and keep poking myself after every meal, I’m putting in my mind that it’s just for 8 or 9 more weeks. Plus, I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep my baby safe!

I’m not too nervous about going to the hospital during the pandemic because I truly trust that my hospital team will do everything in their power to keep us safe. From what I’ve witnessed so far, they’ve tackled this crisis with the utmost care and professionalism. While I hope that COVID-19 cases start to slow and the crisis winds down by June, I’m not getting my hopes up. I’m mentally prepared to give birth during a crisis - it’ll definitely be a birth to remember!

I’ll keep you posted as my 3rd trimester progresses!