[this blog post includes sponsored links]

No doubt, 2020 was a rollercoaster for everyone. My 2020 in summary looked like this:

• John was out of work and it was an emotional rollercoaster for him searching for jobs during a pandemic

• I cancelled my cute farm-themed baby shower

• I gave birth during the pandemic

• I only had 6 weeks of maternity leave

• I came back to work after 6 weeks at the height of the pandemic and couldn’t find help

• John found a job, I worked full-time and cared for a newborn full-time

• We got 17 baby chicks that turned into 17 full grown chickens

• We got a larger coop and built a huge chicken run

• John went from no work to a full-time job and recording gigs on the side

2020 was hard. As new parents, we felt isolated in not being able to lean on and see friends and family.

I’m impressed with no matter how hard it got, John and I were able to communicate effectively and work as a team to get through each day. There definitely were some fights and bickering along the way, but each time we were able to sit down and come up with a plan that worked for both of us. I think the pandemic affected relationships in different ways, but what’s interesting for John and I is that we were already used to spending so much time together. When we were living in Thailand and traveling overseas, it was just us nearly 100% of the time. We were used to facing challenges together, being in uncomfortable and scary situations, and just spending a lot of time together. So, when the stay-at-home orders rolled around, it wasn’t something that we weren’t used to. The most challenging thing for us was navigating all of our responsibilities alongside having a baby.

There were some things that we did that made our lives considerably easier:

• We hired a house cleaner

• We hired a nanny

One of my biggest short-comings as a human being is knowing when to ask for help. I’m the type of person who prides herself with a “I can do it all” attitude. This year was humbling in that my “can do it all” attitude back fired. Going back to work while my son was 6 weeks old and caring for him full-time while juggling my full-time job was a huge slap in the face. With dishes piled high, dust bunnies floating across the floor and laundry in piles across our house — I quickly realized that I could not do it all. Spiritually, this broke me. It was hard for me to accept that I was not super human and that I needed help. I was listening to a podcast episode one day on scaling your business practices and the topic was around outsourcing day-to-day duties so that you could focus on higher level strategy and it hit me. This practice applied directly to my home life too! It’s not that I can’t do it all, it’s that I needed to build a team.

There were two huge areas that I knew I needed help with. I needed someone to help deep clean my house at least twice a month and I needed help a few hours each day with Archie. One of my biggest regrets was signing up for Care.com and close to $100 for the background check option. Hiring someone I didn’t know was an extremely scary idea for John and I. Especially when it came for someone to care for my infant son. I was unable to successful find a nanny or a house cleaner on Care.com. I lined up a few interviews, but every single one of them cancelled. I was on Care.com for months and ended up cancelling when I was able to find a housecleaner and nanny through family and friends.

Instead of Care.com and their background check option, I would recommend hiring a private investigator such as [sponsored] Cowan Investigations. Cowan Investigations is run by former Chief of the Jersey City Police Department. They do background checks, child custody, and NJ Cohabitation Investigations. Did you know that private investigators can do background checks? I didn’t either!

We were able to find a housecleaner and nanny through family and friends so we didn’t end up doing a background check, but had they been someone we didn’t know, we would have absolutely done one. You can’t be too careful about who you invite into your house!

It’s been about a few months now of having a house cleaner and about a month of having my nanny and it’s definitely changed my life. I absolutely love my house cleaner and my nanny and would do anything to keep them as part of my team. Of course, my “mom guilt” creeps in every once in a while. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I can’t do it all, but I have to remind myself that I also work full-time so that I can help provide for my family. Having help also helps decrease my stress levels and I have more energy to work out and be a better wife and mother! If you have the financial means to “expand your home team”, I highly recommend it!

Here’s to a new year — may it be less rollercoaster-like in 2021!