I’m going to jump right in: HI!!! I missed you. I missed this. I missed us.

But, uh, I’ve kind of been going through a lot in the last few months. In this solo episode, I go deeper into what’s been going on with me and why I essentially disappeared for 6 months from the podcast. I feel like podcasting is such an intimate experience, much more so than posting a photo on Instagram or making a TikTok. I’m really talking to you, and you’re actively listening. That being said, it’s hard to show up when you’re going through depression.

I didn’t know I was depressed. When you’re going through something like that it’s hard to see the forest through the trees. There were signs: journal entries talking about wanting to end my life, disinterest in things I used to love, brain fog, memory lapses…I was a shell of myself.

It feels my depression took a turn during the holidays where I really spiraled with facing some childhood trauma, painful memories, and feelings of not feeling good enough. I constantly felt like I was letting my family down with my inability to decorate, buy gifts, and make the holidays special.

In this podcast episode I talk about meeting with a psychiatrist and going on medication. I discuss what that process looked like and how medication has helped me.

I truly do feel that talking openly about my experience helps other moms. When you’re going through something like this, you feel so isolated and knowing that someone else has had that shared experience can really alleviate some of the shame and guilt. It was hard to upload this episode because I am so vulnerable in it and by my mothers standards, I definitely shared “too much”. 😉

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Thank you and enjoy the show!